15 November 2011

College Football Poll- The EVERYTHING IS GOING TO HELL! Edition



Horrible things are happening in college football, you guys. Boise State has lost! Stanford has lost! Oklahoma State is about to lose to the juggernaut that is Oklahoma! These teams were three of our favorites; we wanted to see one of them take on LSU for the national championship. Had that happened, there would be no bad result in our eyes. We have noted our love for Les Miles and LSU before, and have no problem with them taking home another title for the SEC! SEC! SEC! (Are we Mizzou folk allowed that cheer yet?) But we also love the multitalented Mike Gundy, Andrew Luck and his enviable neck beard, and, of course, the Idahoan smurfs who will be number one in our hearts forever. 

Stanford and Boise appear to have no shot at this point; Oklahoma State has a seeming walkover in Ames (though you never know when Paul Rhoads will get Iowa State playing quality football) before a stiff test against the archrival Sooners in the last-week Bedlam game that may serve as a de-facto play in for the national championship. Though Oklahoma will miss Ryan Broyles, the little engine that's powered their ruthlessly effective passing game for what seems like forever, the Sooners' talent caliber still overwhelms the Cowboys' as a whole. In the end, Okie State will have to score, and score a shit ton, to give themselves a chance, as their rather porous (but opportunistic) defense will not stop the Sooners. We hope Gundy can find a way to pull it out, but we just don't see it happening.

Where does that leave us? The short answer- some level of chaos. It could be DEFCON 3, or it could be DEFCON 1, but a hypothetical Oklahoma State loss leaves the BCS without two clear choices. This isn't Auburn-Oregon of last year, or Texas-USC of a few years ago. The outcome won't be objective. It won't be fair. People gon' be pissssed.

Here's the DEFCON 3 scenario. Does Alabama deserve a rematch with LSU after losing an ugly game at home? Does Oregon deserve another neutral field game against the Tigers after their own week one loss? Does nobody deserve a rematch, opening the door to an Oklahoma team that got dominated at home by a shitty Texas Tech team? Does Oklahoma State, who blew out the Red Raiders 66-6 on the road, deserve to stay ahead of their in-state rivals after a hypothetical loss? If Clemson wins out, they'll have impressive wins over Auburn, South Carolina, and Virginia Tech (twice); how are they worse than an Alabama squad that's beaten Arkansas, Penn State, Auburn, and nobody else? Or should we just say fuck it and put Houston in the national championship instead? 

Where we all really go to hell, though, is if Arkansas goes into Tiger Stadium and beats LSU on Black Friday. If this happens, the top three teams in the SEC West will all be 11-1, ranked in the top five, and sporting losses to each other, we will be at DEFCON 1, Iran will drop a nuke on Mike Slive's bunker, and Jon Huntsman will become president.  

But really, though- how do you break the tie to determine who gets to wipe Georgia off the field in the SEC Championship? Alabama will have the most convincing win, a resounding victory over a banged-up Arkansas at home. Arkansas will have the best win, knocking off #1 in their own house. LSU will have the best body of work, having rolled through the SEC and beating Oregon along the way. 

The system that would determine who gets that right? The BCS rankings, of course. It's the BCS determining the BCS, it's own self-fulfilling prophecy. With the Penn State scandal making the game no fun off the field, the last thing the game needs is another huge BCS controversy.

So please, LSU and Oklahoma State- make this simple for everyone and just win the rest of your fucking games pretty please?!

We finish with our poll. Be looking for something non-football related soon. -kw-
  1. LSU
  2. Oklahoma State
  3. Oregon
  4. Alabama
  5. Oklahoma
  6. Arkansas
  7. Clemson
  8. Houston
  9. Stanford
  10. Virginia Tech
  11. Boise State
  12. Georgia
  13. Kansas State
  14. Wisconsin
  15. South Carolina
  16. Southern Miss
  17. Michigan State
  18. Michigan
  19. Nebraska
  20. Baylor
  21. TCU
  22. Virginia
  23. Notre Dame
  24. Georgia Tech
  25. Illinois (FOR THE LOLZ)

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