Day 7: Mila Kunis

Mila Kunis. She looks fucking fantastic. She has talent and, just as importantly for an artist, good taste (evidenced by her roles in everything from That 70s Show to Family Guy to Friends With Benefits to Black Swan). Did I also mention that she's rather hot?

She is the perfect woman. Yet that kid from Home Alone got to fuck her for eight years. Undeniable proof, if we needed any more, that life isn't fair.

So there's hope. If Mila Kunis is into former child stars, I bet she could really get into bloggers. Maybe she enjoys discussing matters of sport and government and culture. Maybe she really wants to liberate Highland, IL, and convert our dead-behind-the-eyes citizens into tried-and-true communists. She could probably make it happen if she really wanted to. I would not protest.

Oh Mila. Ohhhh Mila. I forgive you for fucking that. Even though that thing you fucked obviously had gonnorhea, I'd still fuck you. I don't even care. You're worth all of the gonnorhea in the world, and all the syphilis as well, and maybe all the HIV too.

Oh Mila. I just love you that much.

Day 2: 50/50

The best movie I've seen so far this year* is a semi-serious romantic comedy about cancer.

As stupid as that sounds, 50/50 really works. Joseph Gordon-Levitt acts all pathetic and sexy and bald, Seth Rogen says funny shit, and profit follows. 

Hollywood has the opportunity to tell fantastic stories; it's just that most of the time, they seem to not have the ability to do so. Yes, economics dictate the stories told, as most people use the movies as an escape; these people are the reason Michael Bay is a multimillionaire, and probably also why Glee and Nickelback continue to haunt our airwaves. 

It's easy to put together a somewhat-engaging story about ROBOTS and LOVE and BOOM EVERYTHING ASPLODES BUT THE LOVERS SURVIVE UNICORNS AND RAINBOWS YAY! But what artists make imitates life, which doesn't fit into any categories. It's sad and happy and pathetic and incredible and awful and hilarious all at once - like 50/50. 

*Though Drive was also incredibly fucking fantastic.