Conference Realignment and the Loss of Jobs

First, the rankings for the week:

1. Alabama
2. Wisconsin
3. Boise State
4. Oklahoma
5. LSU
6. Oklahoma State
7. Stanford
8. Clemson
9. Oregon
10. Georgia Tech
11. Auburn
12. Michigan
13. Texas
14. Arkansas
15. Illinois
16. West Virginia
17. Arizona State
18. Virginia Tech
19. Michigan State
20. Florida State
21. Kansas State
22. Florida
23. Notre Dame
24. South Carolina
25. Air Force

I realize I have senselessly forgotten teams in the past, like Florida State, which I have never ranked, even when they were top 5 in all the actual polls. I believe this time I have not done such a thing. I'm sorry, Jimbo Fisher, it was just a mistake; I won't forget you again. (Too bad for them, just as I remember they exist, they start losing games and not deserving to be ranked.)

AND NOW: Commentary!

Mizzou athletic director Mike Alden should go die in a ditch on the side of Illinois Route 160 between Highland in Alhambra after getting violently shovel-raped by Los Angeles Lakers assistant coach (and rumored meth-head) Quin Snyder. He is awful. He does not understand anything about athletics. He thinks Frank (No Faith In) Haith is a good basketball coach. He allows people in his department to have the gall to admit, as Mizzou tries to join the SEC, that they'd still prefer a Big Ten invitation but continue to get jilted by the B1G. This is really shitty PR. Your office is a two minute walk from one of the better journalism/marketing/"strategic communications" schools out there. Learn a fucking thing or two from them.

You wanna be the best in anything, you gotta compete against the best. And the best in collegiate athletics is certainly not any team coached by Turner Fucking Gill. Get a fucking clue. The Big XII is a hashed together mish-mash of underdogs in outposts no sensible 18-year old recruit wants to go to (when faced with other choices). Is it a bigger deal to be playing an 11 AM game in Waco on ESPN3 or in Tiger Stadium at night? Is it more respectable to compete in Lubbock or The Swamp? Hell, even Starkganistan and Mississippi State is more desirable than Ames and Iowa State. (Can't argue that there are no positives to Vandy or Kentucky, though.)

People are not born to shoot for mediocrity, but often we forget this later in life. We're fine with telling average jokes, and performing OK at our jobs, getting close to breaking 80 on the golf course, watching monotonous daytime television, allowing our football team to go 8-4 over and over while making the same mistakes. (Looking at you, South Carolina-era Steve Spurrier.) I say fuck that. Always shoot for more. Better yourself and your life. Be smarter and funnier tomorrow than you are today. Do good work. Advance to higher places in life. Shoot in the 70s on your next 18 holes. Don't watch Hoda and Kathie Lee and read a book instead. Know what the fuck you're doing. Live life the best you can. Join the best conference you can.

People are born wanting to do something in their time on this Earth. Sports teams, likewise, should always want to win something in their brief time together, to be the best they can be. To be the best, compete against the best. If you're Steve Jobs, compete against Bill Gates. Right?

So Mike Alden, I implore you, don't settle for the status quo. You know what to do. I expect to be listening to this before watching the Tigers (not Auburn, nor LSU, but Mizzou) next year.

Also- watch below. RIP Steve Jobs, one of the last Americans to truly know what the fuck he's doing. Live like he did, errbody. -kw-

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life"