First of all: most of your fame comes from the endorsement of that one Asian guy who played a few good games for the Knicks that one time. So congratulations on that?
That's not why I know you, though. You see, I have friends, believe it or not, and good friends with a sense of moralism and Christlikeness that totally eludes me. You are their favorite rapper. You're not my favorite rapper, but my iPod is composed solely of angsty, distortion-laden, hopelessly white alternative rock. People like me will never love you, and you don't want me to love you. You want them to love you, and they love you. So know you're doing something right.
You are best known for your religious convictions. I admire said convictions. (OK, JK LOL no I don't because we all know God doesn't exist, but still, to each man his own beliefs and all.)
But what I don't admire is your rapping, because really, it's not very good. Yes, everything I know about rap comes from Outkast and Watch the Throne, but this is enough to understand that your songs are forgettable wastes of four minutes.
I want to know why you started rapping. To troll the world? Because Jesus told you to? Maybe to fuck redheads at creepy Christian colleges in Seattle?
Really hope it's the last one, dearest Lecrae. After your orgy at Seattle Pacific University, just make sure to tell me if the carpet really does match the drapes.
God bless.
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